Is It Time For Assisted Living?
Aging can be a scary time for your loved ones and for you as you try and help them. Is your loved one skipping appointments with their doctors? It is actually a common scenario where an elderly family member will either insist they are still healthy enough to work or if they’re retired that they don’t need help with daily tasks, despite their struggles. If they have dementia, memory problems with Alzheimer’s etc they may grow more agitated or scared.
Many young family members are having a hard time convincing their aging parents or relatives to find caregiving services. Seniors showing anger or depressive changes in their behavior is common. It’s not personal or reflective of your care for them. However, they don’t really understand how and why they are suffering from certain bodily malfunctions such as cognitive impairment as dementia takes hold or Alzheimer’s progresses. Due to that, they tend to believe that their loved ones, even their children, are incapable of understanding their troubles emotionally and physically.
Trying to provide them a gentle reassurance to lessen their fears about function loss doesn’t always work. What once was a calm living situation can go bad, and leave you feeling guilty, and them frustrated, helpless and angry. Understand that the elderly refusing care is common and if you’re not making progress with your loved one like you used to, it’s ok and you’re not alone. Rather than argue or fight and cause hurt feelings about their state of affairs about all that they cannot do anymore, you can show them that despite their loss of function, they are still whole and a completely important person. In this stage, empathy and validation are what they need.
Because they have reached the peak of their lives they are often too proud to admit their true level of struggle if they are even aware of it. In their mind, they’ve made it this far and they think they will be okay on their own. It is undeniable that some seniors will not believe something unless the explanation comes from a professional. So keep that in mind, you may have a talk with their physician to suggest they move into an assisted living situation for their health and well being. Their physician can explain to them the benefits of therapies such as reducing unpleasant signs of the disease. They can also provide correct answers to the concerns of seniors about treatment. If your elderly parent refuses help or assisted living, it may be due to fears about privacy, discomfort felt around strangers, hesitations to spend on health care, or fear of losing their freedom. It’s a lot to take in and we understand that.
Since the need for caregiving and assisted living for elderly parents is a two-way street, problems can be experienced by both parties. To reduce these problems, listing down priorities can help a lot. Does your parent need weekly or monthly appointments with a doctor? Do you urgently need to hire a housekeeper? Will it be beneficial for both of you if your loved one is admitted in an assisted living facility? For instance, if your parent suffers from dementia, they can no longer handle their regular chores. It’s often the case that moving your loved one into assisted living sooner than later will prevent them from feeling threatened or helpless actually because they’re not left to fall apart stressing out trying to make everything work in their life right anymore.
If an elderly parent refuses assisted living and caregiving services and says that it is their final decision, it’s important to still give love and support. In case something bad happens, remember that it is nobody’s fault and you should not feel liable nor guilty for that. And since time is precious, just make every moment count for both of you. We know you want the best assisted living home for your loved one and deciding which is best can be stressful. There are many facilities to choose from with many differences, trying to cater to what they think will fit your needs. But sometimes it’s just fluff amenities to make it look amazingly appealing but it isn’t things that your loved one will even use or need.
Although Avendelle may not have the ambiance and amenities of a large, commercial assisted living facility, what we do have, and focus on, is the care we provide to our senior residents. All too often, a resident will be kicked out of a larger Assisted Living Facility and after moving in with us the family members tell us that they wish they would have found out about us sooner. A lot of times when you’re evaluating facilities, you see fancy chandeliers, the movie theater, exercise room, etc. But those items are only there to sell you on the community. Unless your loved one is very, very early stage dementia and pretty independent, those items aren’t used by them. And if your loved one isn’t continued to be prompted to eat meals, participate in activities, etc., then they end up just sitting in their room all day or just wondering around, since it’s the path of least resistance by the caretakers. Because our homes are actual homes with a superb caregiver to resident ratio, we actually engage with our residents.
If you’re ready to find the perfect home for your loved one, contact Avendelle Assisted Living today. We’re here for you.
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